The 2nd cutest Brayden, ever.

Ok, so clearly I'm a bit partial to THIS Braden. But on Friday afternoon I had a session with another Brayden, who is turning one in August... and I basically wanted to kidnap him and keep him forever! Luckily I have a little guy of my own to keep me in check. :-)

Click HERE to see Brayden's pictures.

Celebrating in style.

OMG. I've become that blogger who has a kid and starts posting pics of her baby and passes it off as a real blog post.

Oh well. Deal. I've been spit up more times than you can count. :-) So I feel picture posts are justified.

However, the new thing around here is that Rowan is sleeping 6 hours straight at night.  Its been 3 nights in a row!  Hallelujah! Granted, its in his swing and we're buying stock in Duracell... BUT at least he's getting sleep, which means Kyle and I are getting sleep.

We're going on a week long vacation (pray for us that the car ride is ok) next week to my parents beach house, starting on Tuesday night... and we're bringing the swing for him to sleep in. And my plan is to attempt to switch him to his crib when we return. But why rock the boat... er... swing... before we go on vacation. Right?

4th of July

Well... Rowan's first holiday came and went.  And I spent it working.  Granted, I was working an awesome wedding.  But still... I was working.  I even made him that special outfit (before he was born) specifically for 4th of July... and I didn't get to see him in it.   Ok, actually I did see him in it, because I dressed him that morning, but I didn't get to celebrate the big holiday with him and Kyle.  And that makes me sad because I LOVE 4th of July.

Anyway, here is a picture Kyle sent me while I was working.


And... CLICK HERE to see the pics from the wedding I shot.

Ok.  Maybe this week I'll get around to putting a real post up... and not just links to my photography blog.  Hmmm... maybe.

Baby Belly

CLICK HERE to see the pics.

Our morning routine

There aren't many things I can do every day with it comes to Rowan.  I know I probably won't shower till Kyle comes home.  More often than not I eat pretzels for lunch instead of a sandwich or anything else that requires 2 hands to eat.  And generally speaking, I write all my emails from my cell phone while breast feeding, as opposed to spending some quality time on the computer (until Kyle comes home).  But I'd say 5 out of 7 days of the week... I get some quality morning time with Rowan.  Some of the things we do every morning... hang out in his bouncy chair while I sit right in front of him and talk, have a "dance party" to praise music in his nursery after I give him a bath.  (Oh speaking of baths... he LOVES them and its a great way to stop a melt down.)  And just recently we brought out a toy that absolutely mezmorizes Rowan!  He loves it!

Check out the pictures of Rowan thoroughly enjoying his favorite new toy.

(And this is my new favorite picture of him. He is so not looking like a newborn anymore.)










OH... and in other exciting news... Rowan smiled over the weekend! It basically made my entire weekend. :-) Man, I love this little guy. No matter how much he screams and cries... I can't get enough of him.

***

Right now I'm learning how to juggle work and Rowan.  As soon as the weekend comes I'm all business, which is good and bad.  Good because I need my adult time to do what I love, but bad because I feel like that should be our family time.  But instead I'm either gone shooting, meeting clients or tucked away in the office rapidly editing photos.  I love... and I mean LOVE... that I have my business to save my sanity, but it is still tough to manage it and juggle the editing during the week.  This weekend I am shooting a 4th of July wedding and I'm excited for it because the location is awesome, but it makes me sad I won't be around to hang out with Kyle and Rowan.

I know juggling work and being a mommy during the week will get easier (at least I hope it will), but right now its been tough.  Especially since Rowan likes to go HOURS with out napping.  Seriously people, today after we came down stairs at 6am, he didn't nap again until 4pm!  Isn't a newborn supposed to sleep all day long?  I've been getting a lot of recommendations on books to read, but unfortunately, I need Rowan to nap in order for me to read them!  So its a vicious circle, isn't it?

Anyway... I'm off to take a shower.  Yes, its 8:30pm.

Where do I start?

I really hope there aren't people out there thinking, "Man, she complains a lot."  Because there are quite a few moments during the day where I couldn't be happier.  Its just that the majority of my day is spent calming down an inconsolable baby boy.  And its been hard.  But we've established that.  Especially if you follow me on Twitter or Facebook... you are probably REALLY tired of hearing about it all.  But for those of you who don't... here is how the week has gone for me:

On Monday afternoon I took Rowan to his pediatrician to discuss his acid reflux.  The weekend had been hard and after every feeding he would scream like crazy, then spit up his entire meal (or what looked like his entire meal) and I just couldn't calm him down.  It was tough because my parents were here... and I was a mess the whole weekend. 

The doctor's solution was to give Rowan rice cereal mixed with breast milk every other feeding.  The purpose of this was to thicken the breast milk in an attempt to keep it down.  Right off the bat I wasn't too thrilled with this option.  I didn't see how it would actually help with the acid reflux, considering I suffered through it my third trimester and I felt it was the equivalent of somebody telling me to mix some rice with milk at every meal.  How does that help?  BUT, I'm not the expert so I didn't question it too much.

Another reason it bothered me was not only did this require me to pump with almost every nursing... but it took away half of our special time together.  The doctor prefaced it with, "I don't want to take away his time from the breast, especially since its going so well, but..."  And in all honesty I don't have a problem with the bottle.  I love that he takes it with no problem and that Kyle can bond with him through bottle feeding.  I just had a problem with me not being able to breast feed him all the time.  With Rowan being so difficult and crying so often throughout the day... I feel like when I nurse him its the only guaranteed time together that he is in a good mood.  I can't guarantee that he'll be happy in the morning.  I can't guarantee that we will get to take a walk together.  I can't guarantee we'll be able to hang out on the couch, just snuggling and talking... but what I can guarantee is that every 3-ish hours, we get a good 25 minutes of happy time.  If he wasn't so colicky and I felt like we were bonding more, outside of breast feeding, I probably wouldn't have been so opposed to it.  But that's not the case here.

But I went home and was determined to try it.  And it was TOUGH.  Its almost impossible to do that schedule and not have help.  Having to pump with every nursing is impossible... so sometimes I'd have to put him in his swing while I pumped.  However, if he was having a fit, I couldn't put him down... therefor I couldn't pump.  The first day and night required a lot of help from Kyle... then luckily my cousin came to visit Wednesday and Thursday so she was able to hold Rowan while I pumped those days.

But then came the biggest blow... the clogged duct.  I believe it is a direct result of this new schedule.  Seeing as though there was no way to manage the schedule of pumping and nursing seamlessly... sometimes one breast would get left un-pumped for a little longer than normal... which inevitably caused the clogged duct that appeared Wednesday morning.  Then by the afternoon I felt chills, a fever and extreme exhaustion.  I was so tired I couldn't even carry Rowan up the stairs that night.  Kyle basically did everything that night, except for when I had to nurse Rowan.  He fed Rowan his bottles while I pumped... he burped Rowan and he held him while he screamed for hours.  And I slept... in a room that was 80 degrees... but I was wearing sweat pants, a sweat shirt and had the covers all the up to my neck.  Then by 5am came the cold sweats where I became drenched in sweat.  It was an awesome night.

I was fully prepared to go to the doctor the next day, but slowly I did start to feel better.  I did all the home remedies of hot compresses, pain killers, massage, frequent nursing and pumping and as of today, I'm happy to say I'm clogged duct free.

However, it just made me realize that it would be impossible for me to keep up the schedule of pumping for any length of time.  I just physically couldn't manage it.  That, and I saw no difference in Rowan after a couple days.  So finally yesterday the doctor wrote Rowan a prescription for Zantac.  We're praying it helps.  So far today his spit ups have been less, but the crying hasn't stopped.  However, he's only had 2 doses, so maybe after a couple of days we will see more of a difference.

I hate that this week I haven't taken a single picture with a camera other than my cell phone.  I hate that I've struggled so much and not enjoyed this week of his life as much as I've wanted to.  I know that things will get better... and I know that he'll grow out of all this, but I still can't help but be disappointed with the way a lot of my days are going.

So anyway... that's where we are.  He'll be 6 weeks old on Monday and according to what I've been reading, that is the peak of colic.  However... it can continue to last for up to three months (and even longer, even though that's not quite as common).  So keep your figures crossed that we don't have to endure much more of this fussiness, because when he's in a good mood, I can't tell you how much that brightens my day.  We dance and sing together... and we talk about all sorts of fun things.  And I can't wait until there is more of that!

The only picture I have to offer for this week:

Another trying week

This week we are dealing with Rowan's acid reflux and very painful clogged ducts. When I get a chance I will give details... Once the chills and fever go away. 

*****UPDATE*****

Turns out its mastitis (this time for real)... chills, fever and flu-like symptoms are NOT associated with a clogged duct.  Attempting to fits it on my own.  Seems to be getting better, but not sure.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

A more realistic video of our day together.

We don't on many outings together. And by "many" I mean NONE. He is so unpredictable and I hate being in public and not able to sooth him. So we spend 99% of our time at home. This past weekend, we made the 1 hour drive down to San Diego to hang out with Kyle's parents... and the drive back ended up being a nightmare. We had to pull over 20 minutes into the drive so I could calm him down and feed him (early). And when I took him out of his car seat, he had worked him self up SO MUCH that he was soaked in sweat! So yeah, we stay at home most days.

Here is a video I took from my cell phone when we were waiting at a red light... on our way home from the doctor.

Throwing a fit in the car. from Colleen Sherman on Vimeo.

This went on for the entire drive home from the doctor. You'd think the car would sooth him. It doesn't. Poor Rowan. It breaks my heart.

Dance party in the office...

Rowan likes Black Eyed Peas.

Dance Party with Rowan from Colleen Sherman on Vimeo.

To the men in my life.

Seeing the two of you together makes my heart melt.

Happy Father's Day, Babe!  I love you. :-)

(I made the onesie to look like Kyle's flag football jersey. It was a Father's Day surprise... along with the watch Kyle is wearing.)




And of course Happy Father's Day to my own Daddy.